You can spend all day in meetings, on Zoom, in person, or surrounded by people in an open-plan “collaboration zone” and still feel like the only person in the building.

That’s the paradox of modern work.

It looks collaborative.
But often, it’s just crowded isolation.

And no, it’s not just in your head.

Let’s talk about it.

‍
The Illusion of Connection

Once upon a time, someone decided that knocking down the walls between desks would automatically lead to more creativity, serendipity, and teamwork.
Fewer barriers, more buzz.
Ideas endlessly bouncing off every surface.
Magic happening by the printer.

Instead, what we got was noise.
Eye contact avoidance.
Slack messages from the person sitting right next to you.
A room full of people wearing headphones.
A calendar full of “syncs” where no one really does.

We traded privacy for proximity and called it connection.

Why Proximity Isn’t Enough

From a neurobiological perspective, real connection requires more than just being in the same room.

It’s about attunement.
Emotional safety.
Feeling seen, heard, and valued.

That doesn’t happen by accident. It doesn’t happen because a floor plan says “collaboration zone” or someone installs a whiteboard wall.

It happens in micro-moments:
• A genuine check-in before a meeting starts.
• Laughter over lunch (not the rushed kind at your desk).
• A sense that your voice matters in the room and not just for performance.

And the brain knows the difference.
Oxytocin doesn’t spike just because we sat through a brainstorming session.
It shows up when trust does.

Zoom Fatigue vs. Connection Fatigue

Remote work isn’t immune either.
In fact, it may have made things worse.
‍

We’ve replaced physical presence with relentless digital presence.
Back-to-back calls. Chat pings. Video lag.

No time to think, let alone relate.
And still, somehow, we feel alone.

Because a full schedule isn’t the same as a full heart.
We’re not just tired.
We’re disconnected.

So what’s missing?
It’s not the team-building exercises.
Not the foosball table.
Not another virtual coffee roulette.

What’s missing is intention.
A deliberate culture of relational connection, not just operational contact.

We need space, physically and emotionally, for real interaction.
We need environments that allow for pause, depth, and humanity.
Places where you don’t just perform your role, but feel like you belong.

And here’s the shift we’re calling for, not just naming the problem, but prescribing something better.

Belonging isn’t a soft value. It’s a measurable outcome.
It’s something we can design for, nurture, and track, just like we do for productivity.

The prescription?
• Build in micro-moments of real human contact
• Design rituals that foster relational safety
• Make emotional check-ins part of the agenda, not an afterthought
• Measure connection as seriously as we measure KPIs

Connection doesn’t just happen when people show up.
It happens when people feel they matter once they do.

‍

Let’s Wrap This Up

The modern workplace is full of people, and still, we feel alone.
That’s not a personal failure.
It’s a design flaw.

We’ve built offices that prioritise visibility over vulnerability.
Noise over nuance.
Proximity over presence.

And yet… we crave more.
Not more tasks. Not more meetings.
More meaning. More moments. More us.

Because connection doesn’t happen by default.
It happens by design.

And we’re long overdue for a redesign.

Lots of love,
Stina

‍