There’s a strange feeling in the air this time of year.

The air cools down.

The inbox heats up.

And suddenly everything feels like it’s back “in motion.”

We swap swimsuits for schedules. Kids return to school. Meetings reappear in our calendars like mushrooms after rain.

We step back into offices, co-working spaces, team chats, and we’re around people again.

But here’s the thing no one wants to say:

It’s possible to be surrounded by people and still feel completely alone.

That’s part of the paradox we’re living in.

We’ve built cities, offices, and routines around the assumption that proximity equals connection. That if we just bump into enough people in a day, in the hallway, on the train, by the coffee machine, that something meaningful will naturally spark.

But proximity isn’t belonging.

Belonging is being seen.

It’s being recognised.

It’s someone noticing when you didn’t show up, and asking why.

It’s not just “working near” someone; it’s working with someone you feel safe around.

Let’s talk about it.

The False Comfort of Crowds

Urban life is full of casual encounters.

You nod to your neighbour.

You wave at the barista.

You half-smile at a colleague through your screen.

It all adds up to a kind of social noise, and for a while, it can trick your brain into feeling like you’re not alone.

And to be clear: those micro-moments do matter.

I’ve written before about how these short, light-touch interactions, the ones we often overlook, can actually regulate our nervous system and provide subtle cues of safety and belonging.

(If you’re curious, you’ll find one article here. It’s called “This Is Your Brain on Dancing”)

But here’s the distinction: background noise isn’t the same as a real conversation.

A shared commute isn’t the same as shared purpose.

And a Slack emoji isn’t the same as actual empathy.

We can spend our days collecting tiny social signals and still feel invisible.

Because the presence of people isn’t the same as the experience of being seen.

So as we re-enter the rhythms of autumn, this post-summer restart, maybe the real question is:

Are we building lives that make us visible to one another?

Or are we just brushing past on the way to the next thing?

Back to Work, Back to What?

Many companies are calling people “back to the office.”

But are they calling them into anything?

Into trust?

Into culture?

Into collaboration?

Into care?

Because here’s the secret: no one misses the office.

What we miss is feeling part of something.

Feeling chosen, trusted, included, and valued.

We don’t want more desks.

We want more connection.

And that doesn’t show up just because someone swiped their badge at the door.

The beauty of this season is that it feels like a reset.

Fresh pencils. New planners. A chance to do things differently.

So maybe this time, instead of just falling back into old patterns, let’s ask the better questions:

-      Who are the people I feel safe with?

-      Where do I actually feel seen?

-      What kind of workplace culture makes me feel like I belong, not just like I’ve been slotted back in?

And if you’re a leader, stop measuring how often people show up.

Start measuring how connected they feel when they do.

(I’ve written extensively about the topic, like “The Community KPIs That Shape the Future of Work” or “The Workplace of the Future - Designed for People, Driven by Leaders”)

Let’s Wrap This Up

This autumn, don’t mistake being busy for being held.

Don’t confuse full rooms for full hearts.

And don’t assume proximity will save us from loneliness.

Because recognition, real, intentional, human recognition, is the only thing that does.

Belonging isn’t built by accident.

It’s built on purpose.

And the good news?

You don’t need to fix the whole system.

Just create a crack in the surface. A pause. A moment.

Ask someone how they really are.

Notice who’s been quiet.

Say, “Hey, I missed you.”

Because sometimes all it takes is a small, human act to let connection leak back in.

That’s the real work we all need to return to.

Lots of love,

Stina

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